Stretch Mark Miracle? Or Slippery Scam?

OK. So I might have clickbaited you – well, sorta. Let me explain.

One of my biggest and most haunting fears when I became pregnant was stretch marks, and there is seemingly a large debate as to whether or not those stripey little suckers are preventable. Some say that if you lather yourself up in coconut oil it’ll be smooth (slimey) sailing, so I took the liberty in becoming your slippery guinea pig.

Young and somewhat insecure me thought hey, if Francine the Fitspo mum can prevent stretch marks with body butter, I can too! So sure enough, I stocked up on “stretch mark preventing” body butters, vials upon vials of rosehip oil, chugged gallons of water and made sure to take my fish oil three times a day! Those monounsaturated fats were good for the elasticity of the skin, after all.

Throughout my pregnancy, I maintained this silly routine of moisturising my skin five times daily. I must have smelt horrible, because rosehip oil – despite the misleading name – smells more like salmon than anything else. I gained only 10kg by 39 weeks (not as “lucky” as you’d think – blame the gestational diabetes diet for my inability to consume copious amounts of lamingtons). My own mother had not even a single stretch mark! By 38 weeks I thought I’d escaped! Cracked the code! A true miracle! But, the joke was on me, I woke up covered in stretch marks three days before I gave birth. Yes, in the space of 7 hours, I gained all of my “stripes”. Sigh.

The part I found to be the most shocking (aside from the total cost of all that bloody oil), was that I didn’t care. I carried my beautiful baby girl to term, I grew her perfectly. My body did something I was told it may never be able to do – and this was the very small price I had to pay. It was worth every penny. This whole experience taught me a valuable lesson though. Love the skin you’re in. Cliche, I know. It wasn’t until now that I truly realised just how amazing a woman’s body is and what a miracle child bearing really is.

In conclusion;
Are they preventable? No, probably not. Do I recommend skipping the gimmicky products tailored to the insecurities of women with changing bodies? Eh, probably f it were me doing it over, I’d pick up a cheap moisturiser from Woolies and skip the fancy stuff. In all fairness, I can’t say it did nothing. Constant buttered-up skin did assist greatly with the pregnant belly itch, and, post birth my new found stripes had faded to silver by my 4 week check up. My point? Don’t expect too much from body butter, and treat yourself to a nice new handbag (or several, with the cost of rosehip oil, seriously), instead! There’s nothing wrong – or unnattractive – about the beautiful thing your body is doing, so rock those amazing stripes proudly!

Lots of love,
Tiff xx

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